Posted by
Brian Dennis on Thursday, October 01, 2009 4:43:39 PM
Note: My intention is to write articles for society at large – not specific groups. However, on occasion I may address individual communities. In this case this article is addressed to the Jewish community, but it does have relevance to everyone: loud music at levels apparently acceptable to (too) many segments of the population is destructive, both physically and morally.
Have you been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah party lately? How is your hearing?
Music at today’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah (plural: B’nai Mitzvah) parties is loud – very loud. The music’s decibel levels drown out any opportunity for conversation. Many teens and pre-teens attend parties regularly, and are continually exposed to situations which could damage their hearing. Worse, rather than being condemned for the trash that it is, modern rap music is frequently played and promoted. As the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan commented, deviancy has been defined upward.
Coming on the heels of the B’nai Mitzvah ceremonies at which platitudes are quite sincerely mouthed by children, the real lesson of the loud and awful music played at the B’nai Mitzvah parties is the exact opposite of what the children claim to have learned. Since parents permit the music, they obviously have not learned their lessons either.
Jewish law is explicit. God informs us of the need to teach our children how to behave responsibly in the world. Rabbinic and Torah laws forbid steps that may harm or de-sanctify the body. From laws against placing tattoos on ourselves to those outlawing suicide, the people of Israel are instructed to care for their bodies. Humans have custody of their bodies but in many cases not outright ownership. Unlike animals, humans are to be holy since they – distinct from all other living creatures - have been made in the image of God.
At the B’nai Mitzvah ceremonies children – who at age thirteen are considered to be old enough to know right from wrong – agree to accept adult responsibilities. But parental instruction and guidance should not stop then. It is needed as the teens grow, to provide wisdom and experience to the children in such a way as to enable them to become complete, mature adults.
Part of this instruction is to tell our children “No!” Jews have their own values that may differ from those of the outside world. What the world does may not be for the Jews. From what we eat to how we mourn, Jewish law prescribes rituals and conduct that distinguish us from others. While it is our hope that others may join us or adopt our beliefs and practices in whole or in part, when appropriate we must say “No!”
The problem with the loudness and content of the music played at B’nai Mitzvah parties (Jewish weddings may have similar music) is that it is the “music” (is there anything really harmonious or musical in today’s music?) our children are growing up with – and have been conditioned to like. It is the music of the general culture, influenced by the gangsters of our inner city whose lifestyles and practices mirror more the law of the streets than the holiness Judaism calls for. Rather than promoting such music we should be the ones speaking loudly – in voices condemning it. In the short time-span that gangs have developed we can see the significant consequences – from cruelty to drive-by shootings to absolute disregard for law and order and human decency. The gangster lifestyle is opposed to everything that Judaism stands for. Since much of today’s popular music is a reflection of that lifestyle, playing such music – at B’nai Mitzvah parties no less - where children should be dancing to celebrate their rejection of such a culture and instead accept an alternative way of life that is counter to that culture is contrary to the ideals supposedly adopted by the child. Yet immediately after declaring allegiance at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to the Jewish way of life the Jewish child goes out and promotes actions opposing his/her words.
The music is so loud that our children could develop serious hearing loss relatively early in their lives. God has provided us with five senses, and has instructed us to respect and honor those senses. Hearing is the most important sense: the fundamental Hebrew prayer Sh’ma Israel, or Hear O’ Israel, commands us to hear that the Lord is our God. We are specifically told in the following V’ahavta prayer not to be influenced by our eyes, because they may lead us astray. Not to respect the sense of hearing that God provided to us is contrary to God’s directives. Construed and followed to its logical end, a diminished ability to hear could lead to a diminished ability to think critically due to the need to substitute for hearing loss by relying on other senses – which could lead us astray. This is not to say that deaf or hearing-impaired people cannot compensate for their loss by not being able to think critically. It is, though, a recognition that for those blessed with all five senses, hearing is the most important. As a result, we should value and protect it instead of following actions that do harm to our ability to hear.
But we’re not doing so. Moreover, in addition to loud music harming hearing, it’s also harming relationships, too. As an example, one of my friends, a cantor at a prominent synagogue who tutors children in preparation for their Bar Mitzvah services and who would like to attend parties for some of those students of whom he is fond, absolutely declines all invitations to B’nai Mitzvah parties. He says that the loud music affects his hearing, sometimes leaving him with ringing in his ears the next morning. He cannot tolerate that and the impact it would have on his career.
And adults in general should not tolerate the circumstances either. They can hardly hear the person sitting next to them let alone across the table. But B’nai Mitzvah receptions are as much for adults to celebrate the rite of passage as they are parties for children. While the children may be having fun, certainly they cannot and do not really speak to each other in the same way they would be forced to should there be less loud music. Neither can adults, who have relatively little opportunity to talk and relate. There’s just the playing of the music, as loud as it can be.
That loud music also has a further characteristic: the omnipresent beating of the bass drum. There seems to be a constant thud in the music, an incessant pounding that never stops. But doesn’t this type of pounding also affect the ability to think? A sustained and continual intrusion into our ears can lull us into a subdued hypnotic trance. Our minds, which should be sharp at all times, are distracted from our surroundings as we’re subjected to an ongoing stress of the beating of the drum, which seems to be present in every song throughout the entire party.
Perhaps adult acquiescence in this hearing destruction is the most troubling. Parents often do feel that the party is for the children alone, that the music, even if they themselves don’t care for it, is a part of today’s society. Adult guests may not like the decibel level and be unable to converse, but ultimately they shrug off loud noise. They may not like it or the tunes of the music, but most just feel “What can we do?” The answer is plenty.
Accepting music that is so loud as to be destructive to our children is an abdication of responsibility. Whatever the tune, even if the music being played is rap music, the DJ can be instructed in advance by the parents not to play the music loudly, with this directive reinforced during the party if necessary. Contracts can be written in ways that would require the DJ to forfeit some or all of his money if loud or undesirable music is played contrary to the parents’ wishes. Jewish schools can teach our children the importance of preserving our hearing and why we should reject today’s gangster-style music. Temples, the venue for many B’nai Mitzvah parties, can likewise educate parents and children and insist through contracts that DJ’s will not be permitted to play loud music – and then have the party guards enforce the rule, with a contractual provision requiring parents to forfeit deposits should the guards admonitions not be obeyed.
Would synagogues which take a stand against loud music lose revenue as party-goers flock to other locales such as hotel party rooms? Perhaps – but not if the community is educated. If the issue isn’t deemed important enough by parents then revenue will be lost. If it is deemed significant our community can contribute to a re-shaping of the industry of party-playing DJ’s and musicians. But even if revenue loss occurs, if we know anything of Jewish law and tradition we know that values are supreme. Jewish law doesn’t frown on the idea of making a profit, but it does hold that principles come first. After all, why have a Sabbath if we could all make more money by working on the week’s seventh day? We’re taught that we can use six days to work and make money, but not seven – even at the cost of losing money. And this instruction is part of the Ten Commandments, the highest level of laws.
If we as a community fail to acknowledge the importance of and stand our ground on this critical issue we are truly harming our children, both physically and by failing to impart values.
Hear O’ Israel, on this important issue of protecting and teaching our children.